my word choices, some initial thoughts

So here are my choices for the book:

• Fear
• Depression
• Desire
• Regret
• Anxiety

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinkin' about 'em.

So, some of my thoughts on these, accompanied by a bit of research. Just jotting down some things so I can remember it later, mostly. Slapdash. Tried to keep it short, but ah well.

We'll start with fear. Some key things I want to keep in mind with fear: it's about anticipation. It's not the big crazy scare, but what precedes it. It's also learned (as illustrated by this paper at the US National Library of Medicine http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2555428/ ). It is wholly created within the mind of the one experiencing it. True of all emotions, but I feel like it's especially true of fear. Some touchstones off the top of my head: the creeping dread of the really good Japanese horror movies (Ju-On: The Grudge, that sort of thing); phobias; good old campfire horror stories; urban legends. What I'm basically saying is, the /x board on 4chan, minus the Illuminati and spirit-quests. Also, think Marble Hornets, youtube horror web-series that's wall-to-wall creeping fear. Uses found-footage (YAWN) but in a really good way (YAY).

Depression. Tricky one. Some call it a straight emotion, but it's more correctly seen as a mental illness with associated symptoms. While emotions can be harnessed, without medication, depression just keeps on going. I've heard it described less as "Oh, I'm just sad," and more as a kind of deadness. A lethargy. Part of it is also the dismissal: people often brush it off and say someone should just "get over it"; not that simple, of course.

Desire. Everybody wants something, right? I think that's the angle I'll take. The want of something, without the means to get it. I see a hand reaching towards something shiny. Too cliché? I'll work on it.

Regret. There's a saying, hindsight's 20/20 or something. We all tend to look back, at least I do, and itemise every last thing we've ever done wrong, every opportunity passed-up. I don't know whether to go with the rather literal metaphor of "looking back," or something a little more esoteric. More research required.

Anxiety. It's paralysing, a little like fear. I worry about everything. I get worked up over the smallest thing. Anxiety often shows physical symptoms, like nervous ticks. I know I tend to scratch. My brother bites his nails. Other people do worse things. Anxiety is sort of the reverse of regret, in that it's often tied up in future events: what will they think of me; I hope I pass that test. I like the angle of physical symptoms, nervous ticks. Might explore that.

So those are some initial thoughts. More research forthcoming, not just on these words, but maybe on the more aesthetic side of things as well.